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Reflections on the Butterfly Dream

In the hushed chambers of slumber, I once found myself entranced within a reverie where I, a butterfly, danced upon the zephyrs, knowing nothing but the pure ecstasy of my fluttering existence. Wrapped in the ephemeral cloak of the butterfly, I knew naught of my human self. But then, as dawn's gentle fingers stirred me from my nocturnal odyssey, I awoke to the stark reality of my human form. Now, ensconced in wakefulness, I ponder: was I truly a man dreaming I was a butterfly, or am I now, in this waking life, but a butterfly dreaming of humanity?

Zhuangzi

EMOTIONS AS DREAM FLAGS

Emotions as the Music of Your Dreams. Not everyone is a music aficionado, but you know when a song or a piece of music pleases you. Great music can alter your feelings, bring longing into your heart, or incise a wound you forgot was there. By the same token, listening to music that you do not care for is like hearing a discordant clash of sounds; it can make you cringe or back away. Emotions are the music of your dreams. Whether a dreams uplifts you or makes you balk, your reaction is part of the message. Not only are the emotions within the dream important; the emotions you feel as you wake up, are also meaningful. Did you go to sleep feeling unhappy, then woke up floating on a cloud and feeling great, after a dream? Did a dream jolt you awake, filling you with trepidation? It is all part of the emotional music in dreams, as explained here.

1: EXAMINING EMOTIONS IS STEP ONE OF THE FIVE-STEP DREAM TECHNIQUE

EMOTIONS AND DREAM MESSAGES. According to step one of the five-step technique, what you feel during the dream or what you feel about the dream after you wake up are the first clues to its meaning. If you see a huge lion enter your yard, yet it lies down, looks friendly, and you feel content at the sight instead of terrified, the positive feelings indicate that the message is not about being in danger. Or suppose you dream of your spouse in the kitchen losing their temper and smashing a plate in anger, but in the dream you remain calm and continue to wash the dishes. The dream may speak of the angry sparks that flew during an actual disagreement between you and your spouse, yet your serene attitude in the dream hints that the real-life situation can be resolved by staying calm.

STRONG DREAM EMOTIONS GET YOUR ATTENTION. A dream scene can pack an emotional punch and it does so to get a point across about an issue that needs your attention. A scene of almost drowning can be a metaphor for feeling overwhelmed, a child having a tantrum may indicate someone acting childish or a circumstance veering out of control, and an explosion may relate to an explosive relationship or situation. When a dream creates supercharged metaphors that affect your emotions, the strong reaction you feel to the images is a red flag that tells you the message is important.

YOUR REACTION TO A DREAM CAN JUMPSTART CHANGE. Suppose you have a dream that creates feelings of emotional upheaval in you for hours or even days. Though that sounds bad, sometimes a dream deliberately “creates” turmoil in you to stimulate a change in you. Intense reactions that leave you reeling, emotionally, can invite a change in attitude or push you into a new perspective. For example, a senior in college who is slacking off from his studies dreams that he has failed a final exam and will not graduate. The dream feels so real that it scares him into studying. Or, a man in a dead-end job dreams that everyone around him gets promoted, except him. The anguish the dream evokes in him spurs him to investigate ways to move forward in his career.

EXAMPLE 1 OF DREAMS THAT JUMPSTART YOUR FEELINGS: HAVING SEX WITH SOMEONE YOU DESPISE. Dreams of having sex with someone you cannot stand are common. A woman dreams that she has sex with a boss she despises, yet to her surprise, the passion in the dream feels real and magnificent. She wakes up confused, aware that she hates her boss but finding it hard to dislike someone with whom she has just had great sex. Because of the dream, her feelings of hate for him are now in flux; the dream softens and changes her attitude to her boss, allowing her to make a fresh start in the relationship.

When people dream about having sex with someone they dislike, their first thought is that the dream points to a secret attraction to that person. Usually, that is not the case. Instead, because prolonged animosity toward another is unhealthy (emotionally and psychologically), the psyche manufactures an intense, pleasant experience to jumpstart a change in attitude about that person. A wise man once stated that the best way to deal with an enemy is to turn him into a friend. A dream of having sex with someone you hate arrives as a peacemaker, initiated by your psyche.

EXAMPLE 2 OF DREAMS THAT JUMPSTART YOUR FEELINGS: BLESSINGS FROM A DECEASED LOVED ONE. A depressed man dreams of his dead father, the only person who truly understood him. The father hugs his son, tells him how proud he is of him, smiles, and then disappears. The dreamer wakes up elated; his depression has lifted.

Dreams that jumpstart a change can at times accomplish more than hours of encouragement by a friend or therapist, and can have an ongoing impact on the dreamer.

DREAMS AS A THERMOMETER OF YOUR FEELINGS. In life’s daily rush, it is easy to get out of touch with your emotions. When riding a roller-coaster of ups and downs,...